加拿大华人论坛 加拿大生活信息最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则



在加拿大


An Artist  An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time。  "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and  wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."  "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"  "He was your doctor."   艺术家  一位艺术家问歌剧院长,在画展期间是否有人对他的作品感兴趣。  歌剧院长说,“一个好消息和一个坏消息”,“好消息是,一位绅士问您的作品在您去世后是否会增值,我告诉他是的,于是他买下了您全部15幅作品。”  “太好了”艺术家高呼,“那坏消息呢”?  “他是您的医生”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]赞反馈:移民在线 2009-12-11#2 开心每一天 18,729 $0.00 回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则 The Frogs and the Well  Two Frogs lived together in a marsh. But onehot summer the marsh(沼泽) dried up, and they left it to look for anotherplace to live in: for frogs like damp places if they can get them。  By and by they came to a deep well, and one ofthem looked down into it, and said to the other, "This looks a nicecool place. Let us jump in and settle here."  But the other, who had a wiser head on hisshoulders, replied, "Not so fast, my friend. Supposing this well driedup like the marsh, how should we get out again?"  青蛙和井  两只青蛙共同生活在一片沼泽地里,但是一个炎热的夏天,沼泽干涸了,于是他们离开了此地,去寻找另一个适合生存的地方:如果可能,青蛙还是喜欢湿润的地方。  走啊走,他们来到了一口深井处,其中的一只青蛙往里看了看,说:看起来这里是一个凉爽的不错的地方,我们跳下去在这里定居吧。”  但是另一只比较精明的青蛙却说:“伙计,别急,假如这个井和那个沼泽一样,干涸了,我们怎么跳出来呢?”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则 Good news and bad news  The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired。  ne day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?" "The good news!" they all shouted。  "OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing." "Hurrah!"chorused the soldiers. "And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ..。。  好消息和坏消息  士兵们连续的行军,作战,他们又累又热又脏。  一天,将军宣布:“士兵们,我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢?”“好消息!”他们嚷道。  “好吧,”将军说,“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。”    “乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。  “现在呢,该是坏消息了。杰克,你将和约翰换衣服,约翰,你和汤姆换,汤姆,你和罗伯特换,罗伯特……”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则I Love You, Too  Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear。  Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry。  我也爱你  男朋友:虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活,但是我爱你,亲爱的。  女朋友:我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢?

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则 The Clever Dog  A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howlalong dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination nomore and said, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"  聪明的小狗  一个小男孩在练习小提琴,他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声,家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后,小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了,说,“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗?”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则Can we have our teacher back?  Once a superintendent of schools was visiting athree-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tallboy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another roomand stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came outof the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"  能让我们的老师回去吗?  有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则Who's More Polite?  A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite becausehe always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down。谁更有礼貌?  一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则Expensive Price  Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth。  Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction。  Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office。  昂贵的代价  牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。  母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?  牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了。

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则The Absent-minded Professor  Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!  Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?  Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine。  心不在焉的教授  心不在焉的教授:天哪!有人偷了我的钱包!  妻子:你难道没感觉到一只手伸进你的口袋?  心不在焉的教授:感觉到了,可我还以为那是我的手呢。

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则Three Turtles  Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain。  The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."  The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."  "We won't," the other two promised。  Two years later the big turtle said to themiddle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."  Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."  三只乌龟  三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口,就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说,“回家去取伞吧。”  最小的乌龟说,“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了,我就去。”  “我们不喝,”另外两只乌龟答应说。  两年后,大乌龟对中乌龟说,“好吧,我猜他肯定不回来了,我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”  正在这时,一个声音从门外传来,“你们要是喝了,我就不去。”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则Is He Really Ill?  On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him。  "Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else。  "No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance,"  yells another person。  "A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody,and do as the kind lady says!"  他真病了吗?  在一个炎热的夏天,一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。  “给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。  “给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。  “不,还是给他一些白兰地,”那位女士坚持说。  “还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。  “一杯白兰地。”  这时地上的那个人坐了起来,嚷着,“都闭嘴,就照那位好心的太太说得去做!”

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则 Great Event  Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?  Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born。  Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?  Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday。  重大事件  老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件?  小威利:亚伯拉罕林肯诞生。  老师:正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?  小威利:亚伯拉罕林肯过他的三周岁生日。

评论
[FONT=楷体_GB2312]删除昨天的烦恼、选择今天的快乐、设置明天的幸福、存储永远的爱心[/FONT][FONT=楷体_GB2312]取消无谓的烦恼、粘贴美丽的心情、复制醉人的风景、记录精彩的人生[/FONT]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则这么强的帖子,不顶不行了

评论
燃烧吧,青春!!![SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则谢谢开心!!

评论
路,只能一步步走,但不迈开双脚,再短的路也无法到达...... 谈谈蒙城新生活*太极拳名-自已用*[http://forums.canadameet.me/showthread.php?t=541228]回复: 最让人捧腹大笑笑话12则顶~

  ·生活百科 询问中国鞋码标准
·生活百科 我可以在机场或赌场兑换 100 澳元纸币吗?

加拿大生活信息-加拿大

加拿大老人金

华人网大家好: 我父母來了加拿大都已經十年啦,開始準備申請加拿大老人金。 本人對這項福利都還好迷茫,希望各位多多指教, 多謝!本人父母居住加拿大已經十年,過去十年,沒有工作 ...

加拿大生活信息-加拿大

不想在温哥华了想去农村

华人网不想在大城市了,从出生到现在一直在大城市,来到温哥华,这房价和工资的不对等更搞得无法呼吸。来加拿大又不是奔着这些来的,加上本人很佛系,现在就梦想找一份WFH的工作到乡 ...

加拿大生活信息-加拿大

从首尔转机回加拿大

华人网今天送老公先回加拿大,从沈阳出发经首尔当天飞多伦多。 给老公买的是沈阳至首尔 大韩航空的 从首尔到多伦多 加拿大航空 行李在沈阳可以直挂到多伦多 给了两段航程的登机牌 行李 ...

加拿大生活信息-加拿大

赏花:蒲公英晚期?

华人网郁金香正在凋谢,蒲公英也进入最后的一搏。这个时候,她们已经不像小黄花绽放时那么可爱了(应该说多数人是这么感觉的),但仔细观赏,我还是很喜欢的。心中喜乐,到处都是美 ...