在加拿大
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2021/7/22 21:10:35
雅思写作修改之一：思维结构，观点-支持-例子！
观点：On the one hand, I agree that the responsibility for children’s well-being falls on the government. （个人观点认为责任在政府身上。）
支持：In fact, the government plays a key role in regulating and overseeing fast-food restaurants that are chiefly responsible for children’s obesity and diabetes. （政府监督饮食快餐行业）
例子：For example, Macdonald’s and Wendy’s are ubiquitous in modern life, and the government is encouraged to require their food labels and packaging must show the food’s nutritional content. （饮食快餐行业例子：Macdonald’s and Wendy’s）
雅思写作修改之二：作文升级，句型和时态！
Level3定语从句：Parents, who live and interact with children on a daily basis, should fulfil their responsibility and monitor children’s time on a TV or computer.
Level3现在完成时：As a matter of fact, the sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercises, which accompany TV viewing and Internet use, has resulted in the rise in obesity of children in recent years.
共有五个地方的修改，以上是其中之二，
需雅思写作修改的同学，详情欢迎咨询，
另根据同学写作的语法错误，帮同学整理相对应的语法练习。
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2021/7/22 21:10:46
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